For use with devozine meditations for February 27–29, 2012. Print-Friendly Version
MAKING THE CONNECTION
“I was never one of the cool kids. When I was in high school, my family didn’t have a lot of money; but many of my peers were pretty affluent. I remember what the snobs wore. I remember the way they turned up their noses. Let’s face it: Teenagers can be pretty cruel to anyone who is different.
“Fast forward twenty years. I still don’t have a lot of money, but I have a lot more than many other people. I find myself turning up my nose at those who can afford fancy cars and big houses, who are hard-hearted to the poor, who think it’s OK to charge big bucks for quality insurance, who take big salaries in companies that lay off workers because of the economy. I catch myself thinking that I am a better person because I have less money.
“I am no better than those who looked down on me in high school.
“Turning up our noses? Being snotty? Being arrogant, thinking we’re better than other people? I don’t care what hand we’ve been dealt in life, there simply is no justification for thinking that we are better than other people. But if we’re honest, we all struggle with being snotty, arrogant, and judgmental.” —Sally
MEET THE WRITER
Sally Chambers has been practicing youth ministry for nineteen years as part of her life with God and people; she is currently on sabbatical. By trade, she is a counselor and spiritual director. She is a lover of art, photography, people, hosting, adventure, stories, a cup of tea, beauty, all things English, her niece and her Grandma, abbey ruins and cathedrals, creation in its grandeur and wildness, playlists, and her furry four-legged companion Doodlebug. Sally is a co-author of the leader’s guide to The Way of Pilgrimage and the creator of The Pilgrim’s Way, an approach to leading pilgrimage with teenagers and adults. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee, and is currently on staff and worshiping with St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church. She dreams of creating altars in the world where pilgrims may gather together, rest for a while, find renewed vision, be healed (in body, heart, soul, and mind), and offer to the world the hope of God in Jesus Christ.
STUFF YOU WILL NEED
- a candle and matches
- copies of Colossians 3:1–17 from The Message
- a copy of the portrait of the woman (optical illusion) for “Exploring the Word”
- (optional) computer and Internet connection to show the “Plugged In” videos
PLUGGED IN
+ If you need a story to begin a conversation about gaining perspective and about perception or stereotyping, try the True Story of the Three Little Pigs.
+ If you need another conversation starter, begin by showing the clip of the 2009 Video Music Awards when Taylor Swift won an award and Kanye West snatched the microphone from her to rant about how she didn’t deserve to win. Invite discussion by asking: “How is this related to being snotty or to thinking you’re better than some one else? What was the fall-out?” Then make the point that it doesn’t matter what you like or don’t like. Being snotty is denying another person’s humanity, and there is never an excuse or a reason for it.
CHECKING IN
Gather the group into a circle. Ask a volunteer to light a candle and to place it in the center of the circle. Say: “We light the candle to remind us that God is present with us.”
Invite people to close their eyes, to take a deep breath, and to be still for a moment. Ask them to remember, in their own way and words, that God is with us.
Then ask people to open their eyes, and guide them through this prayer exercise:
- First, encourage people to be fully present to God and to one another.
- Invite people to hold out their hands, palms down, and to think of what is keeping them from being present—for example, they may be thinking about homework, their parents, a fight with a friend, or they may be tired or bored.
- Invite people to take a deep breath, to close their eyes, and to imagine those things falling from their hands. Say: “God will hold on to these things, so that you can be present.”
- Now invite people to turn their hands over, palms facing up. Ask them to think of what they’d like to receive or need to receive from God in this time.
- Go around the circle, asking people to say a word summing up what they are asking to receive from God.
- Conclude the prayer by saying: “Thanks be to God!”
Invite the group to play “Would You Rather?” Explain that you will offer several choices. After each one, people will move to one side of the room or the other depending on the choice they make. Then you will ask one person on each side these questions:
Why did you make your choice?
What do you think of the people who made the opposite choice?
Call out these choices, one at a time, and follow the process above for each one:
Would you rather . . .
- live in the city or in the country?
- have a dog or a cat?
- read the Harry Potter books or see the Harry Potter movies?
- go to the beach or go skiing?
- be poor or be sick?
- be cool or be smart?
- have one pair of expensive jeans or two pairs of cheap jeans?
- hang out with Superman or hang out with Batman?
- make fun of someone or be made fun of?
EXPLORING THE WORD
Scripture: Colossians 3:1–17 (from The Message)
Pass around the picture of the woman, which is an optical illusion. Ask each person, one at a time, these questions: “Is this a portrait of a young woman or an old woman? Can you see the other woman in the picture?” (Some people see one image more readily than the other.) When everyone has answered, ask the group:
Does it take more concentration to see the other image?
Say: “Today we’re going to talk about how we see and judge other people. I assume that no one here wants to judge; most of us believe that judging is not part of the Kingdom Way. But we are all snotty in one way or another. We all judge. You decided if the portrait was of an old woman or a young woman. You saw the picture in a particular way. You made a judgment.”
Invite conversation about what it means to judge and to be snotty:
What other words do you associate with judging and snottiness? (arrogance, snootiness, pride, self-righteousness, materialism, stereotypes, assumptions, separation, distance, narcissism)
About what things are people often snotty? About what are people often judgmental?
How does the optical illusion of the woman help us to address this issue?
Why is it hard not to judge or not to be snotty about things we know are not part of God’s way? (If we are honest, all of us are snotty and judgmental about some things. To say we’re not is to lack humility, which points to pride and arrogance, which leads to some version of snootiness and judgment.)
Ask people to consider what they are snotty about. In what ways do they judge others? Then ask:
What is the Kingdom Way?
What would our lives be like if we removed judging, stereotyping, and snootiness?
What would our world be like?
Distribute copies of Colossians 3:1–17 (from The Message), and invite people to read the passage.
Next, put the scripture in context, saying: “Paul was writing letters to communities of people who followed Jesus (churches) to encourage them and to help them live the Kingdom Way (the gospel). Paul recognized that living for God’s kingdom is hard and that what believers know (that judging is not good) is often hard to put into practice (sometimes we’re snobby without even realizing it).”
Then discuss these questions:
What words or phrases in the scripture stand out for you?
What are some of the words Paul uses to describe the wardrobe we should wear now that we are part of the Kingdom?
How does the scripture relate to snootiness and judgmental attitudes?
Paul specifically addresses various names that people were called at the time he was writing. The names were used to separate and oppress people. What names did Paul say were now obsolete? According to him, why were they obsolete?
What names do we use today to separate and to oppress people at school? in politics? in the world? in the church?
What would Paul suggest we do to combat snootiness and judgment?
Why would humility and thankfulness combat snobbery and judgment?
SHARING IN PRAYER
The Rule of St. Benedict was written in the third century as a guide for communities of Christians who were trying to live the gospel together. It became the basis for life in monasteries and convents. St. Benedict said that Christ comes to us in everyone we encounter, so when we meet other people, we should approach them as if they were Christ. An entire chapter of the Rule of St. Benedict is dedicated to answering the door and greeting another person. In this chapter, Benedict called for a porter to live above the gate or door of the monastery. Their sole job was to greet people, no matter what time of day or night it was. At the sound of hoof steps or the knock on the door, the porter was to rise and greet the person saying: “Deo Gratias: Thank God you’ve come. Now please, give me your blessing.”
Discuss this question:
If we approached people—on facebook, at school, at the movies, at work—and greeted them according to the rule of St. Benedict, how would it help us to stop judging? to change our snotty attitude? (Benedict suggests a posture of humility and thankfulness, which is the antidote to judgment. It assumes that other people have something to give and that Christ comes through all people. Asking for another to bless us required humility.)
Ask people to form pairs, choosing partners who are not necessarily their closest friends. Invite the partners to face each other and to pray together as you guide them:
- Begin the prayer by saying, “The Lord be with you,” and inviting the entire group to respond: “And also with you.”
- Next, ask one person in each pair to pray aloud, giving thanks to God for the other person.
- Then ask the other person in each pair to pray aloud for the first person, asking God to bless him or her.
- Invite partners to switch roles so that the second person offers a prayer of thanksgiving and the first person offers a prayer of blessing.
- Conclude by saying, “Thanks be to God!” and inviting the group to respond: “Amen.”
TAKING IT FURTHER
Invite everyone in the group to choose a person with whom he or she will practice silently the porter’s call this week. Explain: “As you meet your chosen person during the week, pray silently, giving thanks to God for him or her and asking God to give you a blessing through that person.” When the group gathers again, invite people to reflect on the practice.
