Ciona D. Rouse
For use with devozine meditations for February 13–19, 2012. Print-Friendly Version
MAKING THE CONNECTION
“So many voices contribute to our perspective! I’m grateful that, for the most part, I have heard positive, encouraging voices and was taught to love God, to love my neighbors, and to love myself. When I was a little girl, I thought I had super powers. I thought I could do anything I wanted to do, be anything I wanted to be, and win everything I attempted to win. My super powers were so strong that I felt like a winner even though I didn’t win at Red Rover or make all As or get crowned homecoming queen or get the guy.
“Still, all of the small whispers of disapproval that Graham Douglass refers to in his weekend article (“You’re not good enough.” “Don’t even try.” “He is so much better than you.”) can become a loud voice in our inner dialogue. I once grabbed my journal and filled it by writing down every word I heard those voices say: “Your writing is trite.” “You aren’t good enough to be published.” “You aren’t capable of being loved.” The next day, I responded to those voices with the truth I knew about who I was created to be: the person God loves and calls good, the person with incredible super powers.” —Ciona
MEET THE WRITER
Ciona Rouse is a lover of the world who lives and writes in Nashville, Tennessee. She also works at a local nonprofit that provides services for people living with HIV and education for the entire community. When she’s not working, Ciona reads, dances, hula hoops, and writes poetry.
STUFF YOU WILL NEED
- paperback copy of Zoom by Istvan Banyai (available from Amazon)
- masking tape or paint tape that won’t harm the walls
- newsprint and markers
If you have a large group, carefully remove each page from the paperback version of Zoom. Take the first image, turn it upside down, and reverse it so that the image is facing the wall. Post it to the wall at about chest level, running the tape across the top of the page so that you can flip the image up and see the image as it appears in the book. Tape the second image to the wall in the same fashion about a foot away from the first. Tape to the wall all the pages of the book in the order they appear in the book. Feel free to move into another room or a hallway as well. This creates a gallery that will make seeing the images easy and fun.
If you have a smaller group, you can still tape the images to the wall. But you may prefer to remove each page of the book and pass it from person-to-person or to leave the book intact and invite people to sit around you as they look at the images.
PLUGGED IN
+ Jessica’s Daily Affirmation—Maybe everyone should stand in front of a mirror and do this each day! If you use this video in the session, invite people to discuss these questions:
- Is the girl confident or arrogant? Is she practicing gratitude for who she is?
- If you were to spend time every day naming what you love about yourself or thanking God for the gifts you have been given—both in who you are and in the people who surround you—what would you say?
+ The video Beauty is Not How Skinny You Can Be! is more inspiration from the mouth of babes. If you use the video, invite discussion:
- What messages do children this age—both boys and girls—often hear about themselves?
- What messages does God want us to hear from birth?
+ “Beautiful for Me” by Nichole Nordeman (with Veggie Tales) is written as if God were singing to the listener. To find out more about this song, read the article by Nichole Nordeman in CCM Magazine.
+ “Who Says” by Selena Gomez
+ “Firework” by Katy Perry is a positive message and a popular song reminding teens to recognize their worth.
CHECKING IN
Welcome the youth. Invite them to name one thing they love about themselves today—for example: “I love that I get along with my brother.” “I love that I play the violin.” “My favorite thing about myself is the ability to laugh at myself.” “I love that I made an A on my test today.”
Say an opening prayer: “Creator God, we love that you have created all of us, called us good, and brought us to this place. Be present with us, Lord, as we learn how to love ourselves and our neighbors as an outpouring of our love for you; in Jesus’s name. Amen.”
EXPLORING THE WORD
Scripture: Genesis 1:26–28, Psalm 139:1–6, 13–16
Invite people to discuss these questions:
What do you say about yourself on a daily basis?
What do you hear other people say about themselves?
What does self-talk sound like? (People may respond to these first 3 questions with answers such as these: “My friend always talks about how fat she is.” “When my friend makes a mistake and someone else points it out, he says, ‘Oh yeah! That’s right. I’m so stupid.’” Push group members to think of particular statements that people say or hear in their minds all the time.)
Negative self-talk happens all of the time; why does negative self-talk prevail?
Read aloud or invite two volunteers to read aloud Psalm 139:1–6, 13–16 and Genesis 1:26–28. Then discuss:
What is God’s talk about us?
What keeps us from talking about ourselves and loving ourselves in the way God loves us?
Invite people to walk around the room looking at the images from Zoom you have posted on the wall (or pass around images from Zoom or look together at the book). Give people time to look at each picture in order. Then bring the group together. (NOTE: If you do not have a copy of the book, alter the rest of the session to make it a group discussion.)
Suggest that sometimes we don’t practice the art of loving ourselves, not only because we don’t like ourselves but also because we feel that loving ourselves is selfish or arrogant. Discuss:
What did the Zoom images say to you about how the God we serve is able to pay attention to the small details in our hearts as well as the great big world around us?
Is it possible to practice intentionally loving ourselves? other people? God?
In what ways do you practice loving God? (List on newsprint the group’s answers.)
How do you practice loving other people in the world? (Record the group’s answers.)
What are some ways you can practice loving yourself?
SHARING IN PRAYER
Invite people to think of an example of their own negative self-talk. Then begin a time of prayer, asking for God’s forgiveness when we put ourselves down or listen to voices that contradict God’s love for us. Then invite each person to name aloud one of the negative things they say to themselves and to ask God’s forgiveness. Someone might pray, for example, “Forgive me, Lord, for saying that I’m not good enough.”
Conclude the prayer by saying, “Lord, we love you, and we love who we are in Christ. Help us to practice loving ourselves as you love us. Amen.”
TAKING IT FURTHER
Invite people during the next week to write down all their negative self-talk. Then suggest that they write a letter to themselves, asking their negative inner voice to be silent and making a commitment to tell themselves the truth instead. Make sure that you invite anyone who is struggling with a negative self-image to come to you. Be prepared to help them walk through this exercise.
These resources may be helpful:
+ BeckahShae.com—Beckah is a Christian music artist who for all her teen years struggled with identity and with learning to love herself in Christ. Her story and music will inspire the youth—and adults!
+ To encourage girls’ self-esteem, check out these secular resources:
+ These resources deal with self-esteem and bullies:
Ciona D. Rouse
